|
There are many problems associated with mobile phones today. What are these problems and to what extent do the advantages of mobile phones outweigh the disadvantages? With the development of science and technology, mobile phones grow rapidly, so do problems about using cell phones. 结构点评：段写得也太简单了!一般我们都写到至少 30 词，稳定在 40 词。此外，段应该包括两方面的内容： 1 。引题，即根据题目简单介绍相关背景，为切入主题作铺垫，但词数不能太多; 2 。明确地表达自己的观点。 语言方面：幸运的是，在结构尚有欠缺的基础上，语言到还没什么严重错误。就是 后用的那个 so 引起的倒装句来表达观点，总觉得太简单了(整体感觉)。 Cell phone courtesy may be one of the most important problems which should be mentioned. People always use mobiles in public places, such as buses, restaurants, libraries, museums, (逗号不能连接句子和句子!!!) some people talk loudly on mobiles which interfere with people around him, “No cell phones” signs are putting up (这里应该用被动语态吧) all over, the device have (低级的主谓一致错误!) been banned in many places. Moreover, according to the theory of mobile phones, when it is being used, the radiation mobiles release can influence the surrounding, such as some devices in hospitals, the guide system (这个表达个人比较陌生，是不是可以说成 guiding mechanism 呢) of planes, people who use cell phones long time often feel slight headache and hear noises in their ears. To some extend (是 extent ) mobiles change the way of communication between people, now we can tell others something only by our thumb—short messages, so we can say the chance people communicate each other is decreasing( 整个 chinglish ! people have fewer chances of communicating with each other). (责任编辑：admin) |
